The invisible puts on the plaster for others

" Hello? Hello?? Hello??? "

--no one answers me...--

Plasters puts on, on them...

it could be temporary

but i tried my best

really...

I never though i could do it

really...

Sudden occurence

I appear

Juz a second or two

*tink*

Then my appearance fade away

but i never notice myself

my calling never be answered

my question never be solved

leave me in blank

sorrow

sorrow

sorrow

I thought it has change

but it has never changed again.

---S!mpl!c!ty---

it has changed and never changed again

For now....

whether...

• smile puts on
• or worries within me
• or anything else..

never will be noticed

SHOULD I BE PROUD OF HIDING IT?

"ASK MYSELF"

AND DUNNO WHY...

THIS IS ME..

Twilight

This was the 1st book

I was totally stupid that i didnt pick up the book to read.

Hmmm... i should have done so....

Yesterday, i went for the movie..

I love it so much!!! XD

It was an extraordinary love story

I fell for it....

Edward Cullen, he's cool in whatever way he does

Bella, hmmm.... a one of a kind girl.

"I WILL DEFINITELY READ THE 2ND BOOK!!!"

D0wn to the MaXX :SX

Recently, busy with assignment

Then, assignment again this week

And again,

I'm not getting any better

I;m not... ...

I'm d0wn to MaxXx!!!

I'm bored say!ng th!S!!!

no matter what... ...

i just cant get through all this

I think i getting myself dread to college

everytime...

There is nothing...

Nothing... ...

"i Felt boRed"

No eXcitement

NO togetherness

When i'm located at the wrong side of the Universe again

Everything c0ming back again

I need to change

change back to the universe that belongs to me

where i SHOULD be alone

--or pls advise me where do i belong--

maybe it will make me live better

with the intention to build friendships again

Everyone is moving on

I'm happy for them

To have the courage to get what they wanted

but i'm the exception

don't know why...

just felt it, and i knew it

Not just not getting what i wanted

but not knowing what i wanted

It just seems like i'm doing every bits

without my loves and interest towards it

Although it might be said is useful

or probably good prospect etc etc

But still.... it doesn't perks me up!

Always me who stands at the minority path

even the test taken... it PROVED!

I need an ASIMO!!

i need it... no matter he /she

I want to burst whatever to it

i wonder could it respond to me?

ohh

i wonder~~

at least i have someone to talk to when i lonely

treat me fairly, do things for me

(ohh..whatever>.)

and leave others to move on on their way

while i go my way

and that suited me i think

If Only & Only if i owned one

Backup F**** Anyone??

I dont want to be... ...

I dont want care more than that

'Seeking for one when lonesome falls upon

Forgetting one when newbies comes around'

Silence was chosen when this was happening

The silence was buried and remain unveil... ...

When everything being suited

The seeking comes back and feeling neglected

Without considering the root,

Conclusion was made and thinking oneself as a victim

This has revoke the silence within

but still... it remain SILENT

Through thin air, it trigger the senses.

As said:

I DONT WANT TO BE... ...

I DONT WANT TO CARE MORE THAN THAT

Let it be...

Let them think what they think

Where the THINK that console them as a victim

I dont want to be... ...

I dont want to care more than that

Strange and weird

Being the minority

Again ... Silence was chosen

It shouldnt be that way

I wonder

----Was i???----

-------Why would they???-----

----Should i???----

No longer predictable

These question will never be answered

Day by day,

Zero is what i owned

but the 'uncountable' ... is what i get

OR MAY I BE WRONG?

Mengelut dengan MASA

Sekian lama tunggu, saya minta maaf ya...
Ini adalah untuk balas post YanZ..
Tahulah kini tengah mengelut dengan CW dan soalan tutorial
jadi saya ni pun makin kekurangan masa.

Sekarang dah memasuki zon tengah di sem kedua ni
Aku makin bergelabah dan makin takut
walaupun tahu akan kesusahannya
tapi ku tidak mengertinya and tidak cuba menghalangnya
Ku melanggar diriku ke arahnya
Entah situasiku pada hujung jalan
Masih hidup ke? atau sudah nyawa-nyawa ikan?

Masa pula tidak memyebelahiku
ia makin lari makin cepat
langsung tidak beri peluang untuk ku untuk melangkauinya
Ia tidak memerlukan masa untuk meneruskan perjalanannya
Tapi aku PERLUKAN!!!

Nampaknya, aku perlu mengelut bukan sahaja dengan pelajaranku
Tetapi pula dengan masa, dengan... ... ...

Masalah-masalah lain~~~

p0litic-ing effects!!!

The world is facing financial crisis,
While Pamela is suffering mood crisis.

Seriously speaking,
i really having a bad bad moments
I really hope i can get away from it
but it would never be...
unless i am financially independent

It's all about 'F&D' issues
It been involving arguments and dissappointment
The politic-ing is giving some effects now
although it's been hiding and gradually deteoriating for years
I cant stand the stupidity and dumbness
and ,aNd, AND!!!!
I had to voice0ut!!!

>>FRANKLY<<
i'm not afraid nor fear
i'm mentally ready for it
it just i wanted to make issue more clarified
But it just not reversing the effects of the issue that have been created by nosy people
These people have nothing else better on earth to do
They just LOVE driving people into deep shit
Let's be seated and see what M0RE ^creative^ issue to be done by them----cruel creature

我不知从哪里得到的勇气, 也不知从何处得到的冲动.
我出声了, 气了, 流泪了,抖了, 甚至容忍及悔过.
这次不是为了伤心, 而是不甘心!
容忍到了限度, 纸包不了火啊!

我曾经试着容忍,可能是包含了恐惧感
但,为了怕怕, 也曾经悔过
感觉自己没能力保护她的立场

现在的我,成了什么样?
把自己沉没在混乱的感受里头
想哭的感觉一直反反复复, 但泪水不流
是眼泪干透了? 还是泪根本不直得一流?

Please wake up!!! i urge you...
You have been victims for years
But you didnt realized
And you make us a victims too... ... ...

Raining---The D0wnp0ur---

Raining so heavily, under the pressure of the wind
I no longer care about how messy my hair was
My shoes soon flooded each steps i put forward
water splashes all over
There is no use holding the umbrella
the umbrealla was useless under the heavy downpour
It even drip rains on my head


My books was in my arms
seeking protection from me
My notes are all wet!
When i went back, I become "落汤鸡"


Today our class took the class picture at the college hall there ler... See...


Bit bit blurr hor.... cant really see Our face la...
Hmmm... this picture would be our memory in 1AFA 14


Just like yesterday when we were 1st met in the 1st semester
Just like yesterday when we actually leave our diploma

* missing DAC9*

Today very tired actually
Because i kena from my friends lor..
Today alone, already had several video and ugly shots!
i'm the one in the picture but i dont have one copy wo...
yer~~~ bad bad...

My picture very geng,
because it make me laugh like mad
until i feel so sleepy in lecture
zombie-ing all the way to the lullaby from our FR lecturer :P
I wanted to delete the ugly picture!!! but i cant...
My friends wouldnt let me><

But ,
Without it, i wouldnt know how crazy i was
Without it, i wouldnt had laughters
Without it, it will be swap away through time

But,
STILL~~~~

UGLY ~~~~>><<~~~~ uhhh

Then another interesting thing was
Steph gave me a lollipop
when i was fast asleep in the lecture ...
As i was enjoying the COCA-COLA lollipop,
the whole' head' went off
left the stick in my hands...lol
I get to insert it back some more...ahahaha
*this scene was captured in the video of Steph's hp*=="'

What a happening day.... uhmmm... tired >.-

Dimmed feelings

After the result have been released days ago,

My heart still remain dim...

I cant get over it...

I'm dissappointed, and angry with myself

With efforts pour into stuying tax,

it seems there is lacking of my effort

which resulting an unforeseable ending

i felt guity and ashame

Am i that useless???...

I dont care.. I cant just let this get me

This is not i wanted

I want something more...

I wont let this c0ntr0l me and pull me down

I will go against the odds

and get back what i would have

Have faith now,

better than regret later.

So, I need to start.. but how?

Mind mapping?

Heard of it...but doesnt know whether it does work on me though?...

There no harm in trying out...hmmm

3 subject in this semester!!!

oh!!! *faint*

CONVICED ME THAT I CAN DO IT

GUIDE ME ALONG WHEN I'M BLIND

LECTURE ME IF I'M IN WRONG DIRECTION

WARN ME WHEN I'M DRIFTING AWAY FROM FOCUS

C0RRECT ME WHEN I'M CARELESS

REMIND ME WHEN I'M F0RGETFUL

CHEER ME WHEM I'M DOWN

SUPPORT ME WHEN I'M I NEED ONE

Being tooo early when i rush to coll and found out... ...

Today seems very very hot!!!

and i had to g0 coll under the glaring hot sun!!!

Well... i went out late as my class was starting at 10am

so, i was rushing,brisk walking

holding a textbook which weight like a big stone

sweats drilling down

thighs getting weaker

shirt getting wet

#_________#

really hates the weather

But what to d0???

weather buzzing, and i'm late...

no choice...

Without thinking further i rush into the lecture hall

and sat down

trying hard to figure where is my gang...

hmmmm....

at the same time...

want to keep up with the lecturer

After around 5 mins.

I realize that i was in the wrong lecture

but i 'm in the correct venue!!!

after checking with friends,

i realize i was a complete nerd!!!

i'm 2 HRS EARLY!!!

What else can i d0...

i might just listen to the lecture of

"Basic Auditing"

:P

Dont know why

i was tentatively listening to the lecture! .0.

and paying every attention...

ALONE

ALL BY MYSELF

Amazing and Relaxing

maybe it due to stress free

as the subject had been tested for...

Uuh... hot day... and
hectic...

好烦闷！

讨厌对我而言是种厌倦

因为不只一次了

所以产生厌倦

眼睁睁地看了令人发脾气的场面，

听了听令人烦闷的话与语调，

这一切一切。。。 。。。

不知如何引起，何时发生

我讨厌狗狗这样的对待白兔

不理不睬

喉咙正在打滚的懆气，很想很想的像恐龙

喷吐出来！！！

但可以吗？后果会怎样？

不晓得。。。

所以， 尽量的默收我的冲动

别让这一切触动我的心

不是我没良心，不关心

只是。。。

我只能简简单单的说：

“白费力气，无能为力。”

很想把这一切冷冻起来

把烦闷停止

另一方面，让快乐停留。

二十岁的感想

活了足足二十年的我

都该从口袋里爬出来了吧！

虽然口袋里的天空好温馨

但却缺乏了自我

我要的东西

可是多了。

为了迎接“二”世界

我该写下我的感想的

一：为自己，大胆些

二：为前途，发奋些

三：为自己和他人，给自己和他人多些机会

三项先为主。。。

Cousin's wedding~~

Cousin!!...wow... found husband already...


So we headed back to Teluk Intan to attend their wedding ceremony..


here..before the dinner start..


We have a family pic^^


Then, what's more... go round and have some pic... with my aunts...




Then of course!!! with the married couple!!!
my cousin is the bride la....






Again... this time i sit :P haha...





Next morning.... the traditional ceremony in cousin's house...


W0w... get every way!!! haha juz get the bride...mou dak deng><


Finally... ' you may kiss the bride' ...haha blurr though... but can see la


Having one big family pic... haven married muz squat o ...haizzz...with children...lol

Genting Trip 2

The last decision made, the final and confirm one, before being revoke...

Is done the night before 10 September 2008, the night when my Taxation paper had done(dont know badly or good..aiksss) But still, i wish to go Genting... Still i let one of my friends down.. really bad.. “我不想的，对不起哦！！！beebee”

The night went through quite fast...Just a click of moment, is time to wake up to get ready for Genting!!! Maybe i too excited...hehe ^^ ( this is true...)

After everthing done, i go out round 6.50am to get a bus to putra lrt station...

I waited and waited...

10mins, wait longer.. console myself there is still time.

Then, 30mins gone, ARGHHH... am i going to be late?!

was too scared i will be late, because the bus will depart sharp at 8am..

And i still waiting for bus to arrive at this hour... i look at the my watch... "7.3O liao!"

My heart was pumping so fast..i told myself that

“不会吧?!去不成?”

At this spur moment?I saw my bus comin already. Wah!!! so happy,quickly climb up the bus lo.

Luckily,谢天谢地, i reach in time..Pooh!!! 都是巴士所害的啦！make my heart and blood go up and down before going up to Genting...A warm up before taking roller coaster..keke

What a long story just only taking the bus at the beginning of the journey

After 30 mins travel from terminal to Skyline Port... We need to take another 30 mins to the Genting.. iT just so bored just sitting around in the cable car... SO.... wHAT eLse?!

Take picture lo!!!

i not that scared la.Just create an atmosphere only ...hehe...Heh.. just too bored... whatever photo also take la...

Taking every opportunity to take photo :P

That day really really cold.... luckily i wore long sleeves and get a jacket... We reach there quite early..So, here we g0 again...camwhore section!!!

From here, try to find some similarity...

Found??? 'GREEN' is the catch... Haiya... both wear green =.=

Why there only four of us???(000ps. no yanz in the pic wor :X.. later put ar) Not we make dissapearing act... It just we too excited and loose our gang ...hehe... On the way to trace back their footsteps...

Here there are!!! found em... See how everyone...so enjoy...

Grap some mates and have a ' Chi Cak'... Very Nice^^

When the time struck 10am... wah... we g0 line up to play liao...

As the story were a day long... i think i don't want to talk much...see picture la...

first time sit on lion, brave??? (heehee)

me n siangling ....................so 春天 feel

me n liz at the walk way to dinasour land :)

haiya!!!!... go dinasour land or.. really that dangerous one ar!!!

see?! Kena attack!!! luckily i strong, escape!!!


on the boatie~~~

new gang on the street*hip hop*

After that, everybody g0 makan... then we juz g0 hav some family rides..keke... at indoor..

i also dunno why there is so much different facial expression??? haha

actually we are standing!!! luckily no one sees us :P kinda high though...

Around 4 pm... v head back lo... last pic on the skyline
See?? the cap so cool... nicole one... cool^^ it says:"dont trust ur girlfren" ><><

last but not least...stil sad coz no group pic...^^""

Genting Trip 1

Getting there was a bless

after going through a series of process for approval

i finally succeed to persuade my mom

for letting me go

it's like

"process of Appeal"

As i did not bring my camera..

pictures of memories cannot be posted so soon

BuT...

c0min s00n...

after i get it from my friends...

I'm glad and treasure the moments

the happy moments which

could be just a mere happiness

although the times passes so fast.

Every seconds counts!!!

In creating minutes...

hours...

and finally a day of gathering :P

Actions and crazy things done

could not easilybe erase

it captured not only on photos..

but it save permanently in the hard disk

of my brain

in the subcorner called memory

The only regret thing

but not too disturbing one

is that there was not a photo

which all of us is in...

but nevermind

there will be other time in future

where we could captured it...

After a day of gathering

i could feel the tiredness in me

"i surely update this more

after i recharged my battery"

The 1st paper---Dissapointment

Y does the 1st paper could leave such bad memory

English for Management

I did not manage it well

Time was a constraint

or

My fault

for not revise enough...

Fear now filled the air

Pass???

Fail???

Which belongs to me???

Totally...

i'll ruining my paper!!!

HOw hOW hoW???

jUST h0pe FATE is with me...

i've have been lost for weeks...

few days more...

i'll be back...

*with more stories*

Things gone beyond control

All i have to do here

is to be silent

Silent does helped
In the silent

i hear myself

only myself

where there is nothing
surrounding me

...its empty

I need someone

to share

but

... ... ...
... ... ...

there is no one

i realize that i'm alone

Wanna pleased everyone??
Do i have the ability to do so??

the answer is NO

" I can't "

I have my limits

i have tried to pleased people around me

i cant even satisfy myself

I'm so stress

-very instead-
till i refuse to imagine

what will come in the future

I hate this

I really do!!!

If i'm not appreciated

that's fine

i'm not a pro...

i'm not perfect

I couldn't believe

This is what he thinks

deep down in my heart
i couldn't believe..

----speechless----

It stranded every veins and vessels that i have

blood pressure rise

that almost numb my mind

that is when my self consciousness

begin to numb

which make me a total dumb

"I wanna know"

what makes the sense out of his mind

that can make such statemant

such statement which is totally wrong

VERY WRONG!!!

I can't imagine now

as my mind is numb

i just can feel

the transition moving round

internally

words through my ears

it pierce through my heart

then my body

then my brain

then my eyes

Tears begin to fall

*subconsciously*

and my voicebox begin to crack

from being frozen

What is going on???

I wanna know!!!

i just being helpful

trying to hide the secret

of what she have done

that she told me to

Now,

i'm getting it

being blame for not concerning

Am i in the wrong???

It doesn't match the eye

World is round

no matter how far

i'm going through

i'll reach the end of the journey

But, the
matter is...
how hard

or how easy

is the journey...

HUMAN

have a very interesting behaviour

they love competition

thus create self-STRESS

among ourself

Everyone is unique

having different principles

Once in a blue moon,

unfavourable things happen

it just like

you got the wrong pair of magnet

no matter how hard you force

it never happen to cling

it's hard..

Mindset doesn't meet

the eyes of the other

it clash and crash..

Sincerity creates a fool

Middleman also a fool

where you intend to pleased someone

you are attempting to dig a grave for yourself

where someone might misunderstand you

eventhough there is no intention

to harm anyone

at the time you pleased someone.

Eventually,

you loose out

where it get worsen by instigation
of single sided.

HUMAN

are very funny creatures

blindly attract to one side

without considering the other side.

That is where the mistake and conflicts begin.

There are explaination

on the other side

that have not been spoken nor reveiled.

I wanna get outZ

uhhhmmmm

I wanna get lost from the picture

since i'm not appreciated

but being treated as an object

which create a veil

Being there

not beneficial at all

At the same time,

i'm also treated as not contributing at all

Things change

people change

feelings change

trying to get outz

i dont know when, how

to sort this out

I'm continued instead..

I wanna stay alone

rid all unfavourable scene

i hate being misunderstood

and yet totally ambiguous

on everything is going on

Anything behind me?

Beyond me?

Above me?

which i totally had no idea

~~Rid me off~~

Diploma Convocation on 13/7/2008

My first convocation

Diploma Convocation
held on 13 july 2008

~my memorable day~

Thanks to my mom
who help me in my appearance
and all the preparation..
"MOM..I LOVE U!!!

The day went by very fast

morning was the worse

So busy!!!
But it went on smootly

So happy...

that it cant be express by words

but in the following pictures

it tells a millons words

~~my parents~~

~~my chicky brother ~~

~~my pretty sis~~

~~my primary friend~~

me n shu ling

~~me, In Jia n Pei Wen~~

~~me n Jia Jia~~^^

~~me n pei sun~~
although is blur
but i need to treasure this pic._.

it seems quite nice^^

~~me n edmond aka Seng Li~~

look very bright><

~~me n Samuel aka Victor aka Kiat Leong~~

~~me n Kevin aka Boon Ping~~

this also very bright><

our New friends~~JOHORIANSSS

one big family:P

~~me n Mei Wen~~

~me, mei wen, n suddenly pei wen~~

haha~~~

~~Buddies~~

~upclosed 1~

me n pei wen

~upclosed 2~

~~me n B.kuan~~

with my bear in the picture^^

~~3 of us~~

~~ 3 of us also~~

~~b.kuan, YanZ, n me~~

~~pei wen , me n Timothy~~

I was just in time for this shot!!!

"thanks for ur little sunflower Tim^^"

~~Jia Rong, MeeFung, Tim, me n Bkuan~~
with meiwen posing right behind us

heehee

Finally... i finished this post... it really took me quite some time to had this done.
Anyway, i regreted for not taking any a big group photo.. i really do..*_____*
It would be more memorable that way...
But, having all memories in my head..
i'm going to treasure it and i hope everyone do.