Pamela's Innerself VoiceOut C0rner

Heart felt

2010-08-10T09:10:00.000-07:00

When people gets an upper hand,
they forget who they initially are,
focusing to get higher and higher,
neglecting the ground below them.

There, the revolution starts,
going agaist the forces,
balancing against relationships,
it may pleased one party, and
on the other hand, hurts the opposite.

It just take a courtesy to consider people's feeling.
Or is it, taking people's feeling for granted,
to redeem your needs, achievements & status?

2010-06-23T02:56:00.000-07:00

在此，很无助。
以前以为自己很渺小的时候确是值得潇洒的一面。
然而，此刻，希望着，或许是可望着，
自己是潇洒的一个，很可悲的却是渺小的。

以为可以抬头，携带着自尊心，
信心的心态去面对充满挑战性的现实，却被潇洒的一族霸占了。
只好眼睁睁地，甚至充满羡慕与渴望地仰慕他人。

一心一意希望自己可以摆脱有心无力的状态，
踏近那潇洒的一族。

愿我早日找到合适的工作吧！

The day before P4 examination!

2010-06-08T23:40:00.000-07:00

~~~~~~~ohh ohh ohh!!!~~~~~~~~

i'm super duper tripled scared nervous and worried on how am i going through
the 3 hours and 15mins reading time in the college hall tomorrow, with just my brain and my heart doing the signalling to my hands, and my eyes, fingers in order to produce a or probably few books of answers to the question that my eyes sees and my brain analyses..

I 'm stressed out!!! What if , what if... ...

ergh!!! I gotta go back to my exam kits for more preparation!

What Would u Do?

2010-05-30T21:33:00.000-07:00

I know is not fair to hang that in the air..
Why not just remain??

I'm insecure, i'm afraid of receiving..
I have to admit, i;m not ready..

But, however,
I love to keep the friendship~

Having lunch, having break! but No KitKat

2010-03-18T00:13:00.001-07:00

What we do in college.. discuss assignments, lunch, later class... but here we slots in playful snaps...    This shot was taken blurry cause they had a big respond when seeing i was taking the snap!!!  so, readers, my friends who know them, please figure out why is the respond for? hm@@   

Yesterday Memories...

2010-03-13T00:35:00.003-08:00

Hey, this picture was captured the best among all the attempts of targeting the best shots, having all of us gives our best smiles... ...  

Who has the best smile? hahaha...

as i intended, take more pictures.. writing more stories, and gather more memories..

and i'm enjoying the things this... at least for now...  

Nothing to do, here in library taking a break before another class starts, i capture another photo directly from facebook account!

There... photo published by PW, let me write the details about it!! 

The secret is that i secretly had this outing with them!
oh SHHH!!! 

while waiting another 2 guests to arrive, camwhore activity came around..  

* successfully hiding yanZ pimples and having all in the pictures* hahahaha^^   

The only thing that really restrain me is MONEY!!! But there is sacrifices and benefits we will get in everything we do right? My AFM revision class going start soon.. i'm ready to chau! bye!

testing testing

2010-03-11T19:09:00.001-08:00

just trying whether is it successfully been merged... ignore this post if u would..

Browsing through the shelf..

2010-02-28T23:18:00.001-08:00

 After attended a modern teachings about Buddha Reincarnation, me and my family headed to The Curve for a window shopping..  weather was hot and humid.. shopping malls was the only place that we like to enjoy.. As i currently going through money shrinking period, i had nothing that i would like to search for.. So, headed to Popular with my intention to look as much magazine as i could! haha.. that eventually running out of magazine for me.. So, at tis moment, i was being thoughtfull about my AFM tutorials, nothing much i could do, so i headed finance section jux to had i glance on any books that MIGHT impress me little and would perks me up! so i found this Merger and Acquisitions that ans my ques at last!

CrossOver

2010-02-21T09:42:00.000-08:00

hope i can...

as what i wrote in the title

to just cross the bAR..

I know it would be imPossible,

which i so much hope that it could be Possible..

Lets hope GOD heard my prayers..

And so goes to all my friends

who also will be getting their ACCA result too...

So.... FINGER CROSS "X"

Total Blow

2009-11-17T00:59:00.000-08:00

Why those who ate Little g0t even lesser at the last bite?

While those who ate More got the bigger piece?

DaMn~~
Fire spread furiously within me
I could not even want to water it 0ff, and it g0t even furious-er...

At times, people becomes insane, yesterday. i g0t insane myself !
So mad, mad, mad! ! !
Urghhhh~ my Blood got steamed and boiled, it almost burst my heads out, and luckily it didnt! Sorry for being so impatient, but i have my reason! please be fair, i'm try not to glump down too much of f00d, and yet i'm given more, that is what i angry of! let them eat! cant they eat? why must i? dont treat him as a missy! Such a shame..
My mood totally g0t so bad until i cant study anymore, g0t so tired after that, where my energy totally wiped off.. hurg!

2nD day of Dazzed...

2009-11-10T19:52:00.000-08:00

We, littles, but grown up starts the sounds of home alone-ing... ...

"c00chhook..bbrrruussttt..P0Ng!!! !!! !!!GGGrrrrreeeerrrrchhgggg..~~~"

the sounds goes on!
(so clumsy la me)

I'm juicing!
Checking what IN and Outs of the fridge... and those is what i found!
Baby Carrots, Tomatoes, Celery which not to my liking..(bleaark~), and Green Grape!

The ingredients--mostly vege

Baby Carrots : Sweeter than the big oneS...

Celery : Duhhh.. eat it raw-doesn't Taste nice for me... so blend it, so the taste could be masked. It also very nutritious!

Tomatoes : gives the reddish colour to the drink, as well as for our complexion>>>ANTIOXIDANTS!!!

Green Grape : Gives a boost of sweetness, vit -C! ( so, NO need to add Sugar-FAT FACTOR )

Here comes the blending, not juicing coz i'm using the Blender, not Juicer...

But however still, i got the Juices~~ haah!

Little bit watery i guess coz i added too muc of the water.. coz there is so little juice >.<

But it's okay~~~i'll try better next time... ... (Trying again today o.0)

Then, the vege pulps, the leftover from juicing:

Hmmm... i was thinking and surfing the net, thinking hard what could i do with it? Its a source of fiber too! What a waste if i just throw it away! (fiber help digestion and bowels)
The inf0 i g0t from the net was, hmm, used it on another dish, which i dont want to c00k another dish! unless i have the time! I may try it some other time though^^
So, i added honey to it and freezed it. ( half hour later.. i took it out impatiently, tasting it ) its like IceBlend with Healthy Flavor! ( what a nice snacking during h0t weather ) Besides, i tooks some out for mixing with boiling rice, the outcome was having a pretty looking rice (imagine having some orange colour on your bowl of rice~) The rice was g00d, but my rice cooker was a messed, coz the pulps went boiled all over, and i gotta clean it -.<
So tips: only put those pulps when the rice is almost ready, so the vege pulps will not dance all over..Besides, those pulp can be eaten rawly, so it does not matter whether it cooked or not...
Try it OUt, and dont hesitate to share feedbacks or any other easy cooking tips here!~~~

Gotta catch back up on my studies!!! cant bear the stress laa wei~~~ i'm Very dont
LIKE !!!

Seize the Opportunity

2009-11-10T02:02:00.000-08:00

Second post in a row...
Well, hehe, it could be said to 'replaced' the missing posts when i'm away from here..

"People guess, people grudge, people grumbble"

Hmmm... ... ...
Complicated i guess.. Guessing game is never been easier.. Emotional get involved and affects own feelings..while Outright is never also been simpler..It takes courages!
So, which to choose?
I've seen people taking courages, and failures could just met up with them, how hurtful and discouraging and somewhat scracthing each others feeling and ended up loosing faith and trust..
While Guessing is just the opposite, but the impact would doubled on one side and making things unclear and is long term..
i know this would not be easily gotten over or rather ever-solved... i guess is NEVER though... I could do nothing about it, say nothing about it, nor think anything about it, although i'm one of the stakeholders here.. I 'll just be the passive stakeholder..
Yea, passive stakeholders as i in these situation is not directly involved in any of the matters, but rather being affected by it...Mentally affected... ... ...and mostly cover by fear, then when fear overcomed, stress comes by, then lastly, anger~
000ooooo.. How annoying is that!
"I knew these would never be Over"

Long Swept baCk

2009-11-09T20:45:00.000-08:00

10 Nov 2009 (in my time)

Exactly half a year since my last post...
Yup, long huh~

No choice, no perfect opportunity for me to express here,
Unlike now, i'm alone at home, ignoring the text i had opened since morning but have not read a page... seldom that i had the chance to be home alone, at least for few hours though, so i decide to hooked up to fb, then here...

Flashing back the half years back, not really g00d, there is moments that i beared it through.
But, currently healthy, but not really mentally fit for the coming ACCA exam...

" STRESS-ssss MAaaa "

Hurghhh, internal sucks,now this..
gotta bear with this, time is not allowing me to grumbble further...

Everything passed so fast, my September gone~~~with little
memory.. i already COPE with it, glad that i over THAT..and already becomes a Fact... only i know..details in my personal diary, the paper i used was not in sequence.. >.<

God Bless the 3 drown UTAR's students,
so sadden by the news, dunno why,i just feel so sad..People juz gone like that,
which mins before, they was living in presence of others, and mins later, they
varnish and leaving the bits of theirs, the things they normally occupied
Left Untouched...

Hmm.. for now, i was wondering when i
will be back, hopefully often... hoping
i could owned my own laptop, and so, its personal~~

Chao!

Thank you very much.. my friend~~

2009-06-10T05:06:00.000-07:00

As always, i'm down with comments, more comments

As always, i wanted someone to share with

today, i found...

thank you very much

its so nice to talk to you

i hope my secret will be kept with you too okay???

Besides, i found somebody

which considered herself

' thinking too much'??

Hmmm...
I wished i could help you in your problem too
I'll very happy to help you
But, i still blurr on your case though :P
Anyway, i would like to be someone who could
help to figure out or rather pull you out from the misery
As always, i see you as a cheerful person
but, i noticed
you are not that happy after all =====just like me
hope you can share more and voice it out
it feel better, really
Thanks~~

i'm tangible with shadow

2009-06-09T08:53:00.000-07:00

Listening to the music of Yiruma
Holding the b00k of Professional Accountant
I think my mind was more towards the music
Forgive me for that

I want to express something
But you know
sometimes it just dont have the words to describe
but it tempted me to write something here

Mild hatred, dissactisfactory...
I want to complaint too...
Why it must be that way??
I rather not be there
I would not treat people this way!
I swear to my heart, coz i never like that feeling
It would be awkward to let that happen..( for me)

Trying not to feel bad about it
but its just way too awkward..
But at last, i'm just okay with it
coz i'm so ... ...
so ... ... ...

not strong enough!

i'm tangible okay....

Lend me a hand, if you are kind enough...

2009-06-05T03:35:00.000-07:00

I'm going through risky path

which i doubt my success rate

I'm helpless towards myself

I burying myself beneath the ground,

i try to stand on the mudding path

but i cant help it

i drowning myself

I have no urge to carry myself

i want to cry...

Today, my presentation just on the easy topic

of Portal...

I cant...

I cant explain...

eventhough i knew it..

Pull me out..
Pull me..

2009-06-03T23:41:00.000-07:00

想要的幻想

可能是个错觉

但我希望

是我的快乐目标之一

Let life goes its way

i wouldnt want to trap my life inside me

eventhough how bad i feel

Care would sometimes be Scare

I dont want to sail through the same old river

in which, maybe to deep

which i think i shouldn't even think of

knowing the bottom of it

让生活慢慢地在原地寻找

它认为它应该觉得舒服的那一点

想太周到

也许太不知量力

That why,

i think life will be happier

after what i have notice

Happy that i finally knew

the nature of life

Bottled up would have been Better

2009-05-20T20:28:00.000-07:00

HOw many times i told myself

How many times i Fall

I still made believe that its over

I shouldn't have...

1St time wasn't that bad after all

2009-04-22T05:14:00.000-07:00

Today,22 Apr 2009...

The day i took my resit paper

ABMF4145 Financial Management

I felt not bad after all...hehe

This is how it works....

Resiting a failed paper is just another try for us to strive better

it even allow us to get to know the root of this thingy

Time is the utmost thing here...

It allows us to do this...

and you know what

THIS IS WHAT THE REMEDIAL OF ALL!!!

Study is just TIME!!!

and, since a week before my exam, my parents went outstation...

as usual, i was glue to the desktop from time time

so ....

i did not able to read my study text!!!!

OMG!!!
dO YOU believe what i just said?!?!

Hmmm.... Hell NO!!!

Pressure is on me, man~~

How could i do that right???

I did read my study text according to my plan

at the same time, i'm having fun with gaming!!

Let me thank the new game in Facebook for it's contribution

"RESTAURANT CITY"

Wuahahaha...

Its addictive!!!

And i have to monitored it from time to time..

So can you imagine?

I make my eyes read the study text

and the another second my eyes was so glue to the game,

and I had to forced myself back to the book

But i found it was indeed collaborating!

i indeed had an enjoyable stuydying

but had a mental torture on gaming...

(as i said i need to force myself to get back to study:P)

So it's all about:

Facebook vs. Face-ING book

miSSING my W0rKIng L!fe

2009-04-01T19:39:00.000-07:00

This is my 2nd day staying at home

after resigning from work(practical training)
And still i still misses my working life

where i have to wake up at 5.20a.m
and then stand at the front of the train,

experiencing the view and the railway path
Woot! it's so ghost movie's ride

when the train travels through underground..
Each time,

i try to remember the sequence of the stations...

(hehe.. just being bored)
And each time,

my ears are occupied for my musics and tunes!

"Thinking back there in the train one morning
While i was standing next to the d00r,
Smells of a refreshing chewing gum** "

i dont even know how it look like...
coz i dont dare to look up!
Well.. its my own fault!>,<

Hmmm.. no more for now!

Study text and notes is my accompany!

and i just cant stop touching the computer!

Anyone?! Hit ME!

OUCHHH..mental disturbance

Telling myself to get started to study!

Yes.. yes.. yessss... i'm g0in to... hmmmm~~~~

okaY!

I'm g0in off now!!

buhBye...

Those were the days...

2009-04-01T06:20:00.000-07:00

Sad things & moments

where my results released

I failed one paper..

Really heart breaking!

but those were the days..

i took some time to accept the fact

even have the ‘冲动’to appeal for it..

So, let it be...

things will be fine..

It just i have to face it...

Haizzz

Still envying those who still can continue working

Learn things... and social-ing

that's nice

My collegues and my manager treat me on my last day

we went for claypot chicken rice..

so YUMMY!

my last day just so无聊

nothing to do... just clearing queries and

tearing paper!

that is for the audit schedule purposes...

so so bored!

but.. i will remember their teaching...

thanks a lot seniors and my manager!

Thses coming 2 weeks, i have to study for my resit papaer already
Try my best to get the better grade !!
Gambateh!!

Long last--- my practical training

2009-03-07T05:46:00.000-08:00

HuHu~~~

Coming monday is a holiday!!!

so glad that there is a holiday for me though...

I'm tired out of working..

I have been working for a month already,

and now i'm adapting pretty well

on what is needed to do,

what procedures to follow and so on...

The task wasn't that tough,

it just i can feel 'pressure' is there.

People...

each people is just so unique

i just can't understand them all.

And so, i just miss my friends back there in college.

bY the way, practical training can be said useful,

a beginning is essential for us to moves forward.

There must be a kickstart before we climb.

From what i get within a month is that,

I experienced pReSSure, c0mmuniCiati0n,

Aud!t!ng, and realized ReSt is essential for working people.

At times, i'm really very tired.. and luckily i get myself a sit in the train each morning

so that i g0t to have a nap along the way!

0therwise, i will choose to stand at times coz its just so so boring sitting there..

at least i can opt to observe people><>

While at office, especially after lunch hour,

my eyes g0es booboo, and of coz i wanted to have music in my ears!

but i afraid i can't! or maybe not allowed to...

But anyway, i tried ><>

No more sleepy after that@@

my brain refresh once again...

The P0wer of Music and Lyrics and Tunes

Laaa... Laaa... Laaa~~~~

Humming while working...

I wonder ~~~

How can i live without my mp4

Awh~~~~ no i cant!!

Working life VS College life

What is difference here is...

Exams VS bOsses

(this is what my opinion la...)

When we were studying, we focus on our syllabus

worrying on our examinations and RESULT!

When we were working, we are assigned to our own job

and that is where we learn.. by ourself, and by taking initiative to ASK...

In whatever we do, it involves

ART OF LEARNING,

That's what all about in life!!

W000000000000hhh~~~

Terribly w0rried and scared!!!

My result is releasing in 2 days time..

i'm totally hope for passes...pray hard!

hope i can sail through!

Will i???

So, i'm g0in to enj0y before ....

anything... that not so... my preference ><

urghhhhh.. hate to mention.. but g0t to mention..

There's no escaping!!

G luck to all my frens and mates too^^

Chiang -chiang -chiang

2009-02-06T02:57:00.000-08:00

Chiang- chiang- chiang

bad days please make your way!!!

I wanna make a brand new starting for this year!!

My blog page been frozen for some times now,

and it's gonna be longer...

I'm gonna start work(practical training) on next tuesday :X

hope everything turn out pretty well.

So, it will be hard for me to be present here..

and only if i have the time though...

and my energy allows me... :p

Well, it seems really long time i didnt touch my blog..

Please accept my explanation for this,

first of all, i'm totally sad..

Secondly, REALLY busy preparing for my exams in Jan towards Feb

and finally, CNY preparations!!

& all the stuff that keep on bothering me until now..

where i'm a little free that i can say.. hehe

but going to be quite busy soon...

Think bout my horrfying exam,

just a few words i can describe

Uncertain, Worrying

I'm totally hope for the best for it

god god god

please do help me this time

~~~PASS PASS PASS~~~

is that all i wanted!!!

although chances were not high,

hope 'FAIL' is not the word i will see in my result!

The invisible puts on the plaster for others

2008-12-17T05:55:00.000-08:00

" Hello? Hello?? Hello??? "

--no one answers me...--

Plasters puts on, on them...

it could be temporary

but i tried my best

really...

I never though i could do it

really...

Sudden occurence

I appear

Juz a second or two

*tink*

Then my appearance fade away

but i never notice myself

my calling never be answered

my question never be solved

leave me in blank

sorrow

I thought it has change

but it has never changed again.

---S!mpl!c!ty---

it has changed and never changed again

For now....

whether...

smile puts on
or worries within me
or anything else..

never will be noticed

SHOULD I BE PROUD OF HIDING IT?

"ASK MYSELF"

AND DUNNO WHY...

THIS IS ME..

Twilight

2008-12-14T17:33:00.000-08:00

This was the 1st book

I was totally stupid that i didnt pick up the book to read.

Hmmm... i should have done so....

Yesterday, i went for the movie..

I love it so much!!! XD

It was an extraordinary love story

I fell for it....

Edward Cullen, he's cool in whatever way he does

Bella, hmmm.... a one of a kind girl.

"I WILL DEFINITELY READ THE 2ND BOOK!!!"

D0wn to the MaXX :SX

2008-12-13T20:13:00.000-08:00

Recently, busy with assignment

Then, assignment again this week

And again,

I'm not getting any better

I;m not... ...

I'm d0wn to MaxXx!!!

I'm bored say!ng th!S!!!

no matter what... ...

i just cant get through all this

I think i getting myself dread to college

everytime...

There is nothing...

Nothing... ...

"i Felt boRed"

No eXcitement

NO togetherness

When i'm located at the wrong side of the Universe again

2008-11-26T16:58:00.000-08:00

Everything c0ming back again

I need to change

change back to the universe that belongs to me

where i SHOULD be alone

--or pls advise me where do i belong--

maybe it will make me live better

with the intention to build friendships again

Everyone is moving on

I'm happy for them

To have the courage to get what they wanted

but i'm the exception

don't know why...

just felt it, and i knew it

Not just not getting what i wanted

but not knowing what i wanted

It just seems like i'm doing every bits

without my loves and interest towards it

Although it might be said is useful

or probably good prospect etc etc

But still.... it doesn't perks me up!

Always me who stands at the minority path

even the test taken... it PROVED!

I need an ASIMO!!

i need it... no matter he /she

I want to burst whatever to it

i wonder could it respond to me?

ohh

i wonder~~

at least i have someone to talk to when i lonely

treat me fairly, do things for me

(ohh..whatever>.)

and leave others to move on on their way

while i go my way

and that suited me i think

If Only & Only if i owned one

Backup F**** Anyone??

2008-11-23T17:17:00.000-08:00

I dont want to be... ...

I dont want care more than that

'Seeking for one when lonesome falls upon

Forgetting one when newbies comes around'

Silence was chosen when this was happening

The silence was buried and remain unveil... ...

When everything being suited

The seeking comes back and feeling neglected

Without considering the root,

Conclusion was made and thinking oneself as a victim

This has revoke the silence within

but still... it remain SILENT

Through thin air, it trigger the senses.

As said:

I DONT WANT TO BE... ...

I DONT WANT TO CARE MORE THAN THAT

Let it be...

Let them think what they think

Where the THINK that console them as a victim

I dont want to be... ...

I dont want to care more than that

Strange and weird

Being the minority

Again ... Silence was chosen

It shouldnt be that way

I wonder

----Was i???----

-------Why would they???-----

----Should i???----

No longer predictable

These question will never be answered

Day by day,

Zero is what i owned

but the 'uncountable' ... is what i get

OR MAY I BE WRONG?

Mengelut dengan MASA

2008-11-16T18:16:00.000-08:00

Sekian lama tunggu, saya minta maaf ya...
Ini adalah untuk balas post YanZ..
Tahulah kini tengah mengelut dengan CW dan soalan tutorial
jadi saya ni pun makin kekurangan masa.

Sekarang dah memasuki zon tengah di sem kedua ni
Aku makin bergelabah dan makin takut
walaupun tahu akan kesusahannya
tapi ku tidak mengertinya and tidak cuba menghalangnya
Ku melanggar diriku ke arahnya
Entah situasiku pada hujung jalan
Masih hidup ke? atau sudah nyawa-nyawa ikan?

Masa pula tidak memyebelahiku
ia makin lari makin cepat
langsung tidak beri peluang untuk ku untuk melangkauinya
Ia tidak memerlukan masa untuk meneruskan perjalanannya
Tapi aku PERLUKAN!!!

Nampaknya, aku perlu mengelut bukan sahaja dengan pelajaranku
Tetapi pula dengan masa, dengan... ... ...

Masalah-masalah lain~~~

p0litic-ing effects!!!

2008-11-05T16:42:00.000-08:00

The world is facing financial crisis,
While Pamela is suffering mood crisis.

Seriously speaking,
i really having a bad bad moments
I really hope i can get away from it
but it would never be...
unless i am financially independent

It's all about 'F&D' issues
It been involving arguments and dissappointment
The politic-ing is giving some effects now
although it's been hiding and gradually deteoriating for years
I cant stand the stupidity and dumbness
and ,aNd, AND!!!!
I had to voice0ut!!!

>>FRANKLY<<
i'm not afraid nor fear
i'm mentally ready for it
it just i wanted to make issue more clarified
But it just not reversing the effects of the issue that have been created by nosy people
These people have nothing else better on earth to do
They just LOVE driving people into deep shit
Let's be seated and see what M0RE ^creative^ issue to be done by them----cruel creature

我不知从哪里得到的勇气, 也不知从何处得到的冲动.
我出声了, 气了, 流泪了,抖了, 甚至容忍及悔过.
这次不是为了伤心, 而是不甘心!
容忍到了限度, 纸包不了火啊!

我曾经试着容忍,可能是包含了恐惧感
但,为了怕怕, 也曾经悔过
感觉自己没能力保护她的立场

现在的我,成了什么样?
把自己沉没在混乱的感受里头
想哭的感觉一直反反复复, 但泪水不流
是眼泪干透了? 还是泪根本不直得一流?

Please wake up!!! i urge you...
You have been victims for years
But you didnt realized
And you make us a victims too... ... ...

Raining---The D0wnp0ur---

2008-10-22T03:41:00.000-07:00

Raining so heavily, under the pressure of the wind
I no longer care about how messy my hair was
My shoes soon flooded each steps i put forward
water splashes all over
There is no use holding the umbrella
the umbrealla was useless under the heavy downpour
It even drip rains on my head

My books was in my arms
seeking protection from me
My notes are all wet!
When i went back, I become "落汤鸡"

Today our class took the class picture at the college hall there ler... See...

Bit bit blurr hor.... cant really see Our face la...
Hmmm... this picture would be our memory in 1AFA 14

Just like yesterday when we were 1st met in the 1st semester
Just like yesterday when we actually leave our diploma

* missing DAC9*

Today very tired actually
Because i kena from my friends lor..
Today alone, already had several video and ugly shots!
i'm the one in the picture but i dont have one copy wo...
yer~~~ bad bad...

My picture very geng,
because it make me laugh like mad
until i feel so sleepy in lecture
zombie-ing all the way to the lullaby from our FR lecturer :P
I wanted to delete the ugly picture!!! but i cant...
My friends wouldnt let me><

But ,
Without it, i wouldnt know how crazy i was
Without it, i wouldnt had laughters
Without it, it will be swap away through time

But,
STILL~~~~

UGLY ~~~~>><<~~~~ uhhh

Then another interesting thing was
Steph gave me a lollipop
when i was fast asleep in the lecture ...
As i was enjoying the COCA-COLA lollipop,
the whole' head' went off
left the stick in my hands...lol
I get to insert it back some more...ahahaha
*this scene was captured in the video of Steph's hp*=="'

What a happening day.... uhmmm... tired >.-

Dimmed feelings

2008-10-14T02:58:00.000-07:00

After the result have been released days ago,

My heart still remain dim...

I cant get over it...

I'm dissappointed, and angry with myself

With efforts pour into stuying tax,

it seems there is lacking of my effort

which resulting an unforeseable ending

i felt guity and ashame

Am i that useless???...

I dont care.. I cant just let this get me

This is not i wanted

I want something more...

I wont let this c0ntr0l me and pull me down

I will go against the odds

and get back what i would have

Have faith now,

better than regret later.

So, I need to start.. but how?

Mind mapping?

Heard of it...but doesnt know whether it does work on me though?...

There no harm in trying out...hmmm

3 subject in this semester!!!

oh!!! *faint*

CONVICED ME THAT I CAN DO IT

GUIDE ME ALONG WHEN I'M BLIND

LECTURE ME IF I'M IN WRONG DIRECTION

WARN ME WHEN I'M DRIFTING AWAY FROM FOCUS

C0RRECT ME WHEN I'M CARELESS

REMIND ME WHEN I'M F0RGETFUL

CHEER ME WHEM I'M DOWN

SUPPORT ME WHEN I'M I NEED ONE

Being tooo early when i rush to coll and found out... ...

2008-10-08T06:10:00.000-07:00

Today seems very very hot!!!

and i had to g0 coll under the glaring hot sun!!!

Well... i went out late as my class was starting at 10am

so, i was rushing,brisk walking

holding a textbook which weight like a big stone

sweats drilling down

thighs getting weaker

shirt getting wet

#_________#

really hates the weather

But what to d0???

weather buzzing, and i'm late...

no choice...

Without thinking further i rush into the lecture hall

and sat down

trying hard to figure where is my gang...

hmmmm....

at the same time...

want to keep up with the lecturer

After around 5 mins.

I realize that i was in the wrong lecture

but i 'm in the correct venue!!!

after checking with friends,

i realize i was a complete nerd!!!

i'm 2 HRS EARLY!!!

What else can i d0...

i might just listen to the lecture of

"Basic Auditing"

Dont know why

i was tentatively listening to the lecture! .0.

and paying every attention...

ALONE

ALL BY MYSELF

Amazing and Relaxing

maybe it due to stress free

as the subject had been tested for...

Uuh... hot day... and
hectic...

好烦闷！

2008-10-03T21:07:00.000-07:00

讨厌对我而言是种厌倦

因为不只一次了

所以产生厌倦

眼睁睁地看了令人发脾气的场面，

听了听令人烦闷的话与语调，

这一切一切。。。。。。

不知如何引起，何时发生

我讨厌狗狗这样的对待白兔

不理不睬

喉咙正在打滚的懆气，很想很想的像恐龙

喷吐出来！！！

但可以吗？后果会怎样？

不晓得。。。

所以，尽量的默收我的冲动

别让这一切触动我的心

不是我没良心，不关心

只是。。。

我只能简简单单的说：

“白费力气，无能为力。”

很想把这一切冷冻起来

把烦闷停止

另一方面，让快乐停留。

二十岁的感想

2008-10-01T06:37:00.000-07:00

活了足足二十年的我

都该从口袋里爬出来了吧！

虽然口袋里的天空好温馨

但却缺乏了自我

我要的东西

可是多了。

为了迎接“二”世界

我该写下我的感想的

一：为自己，大胆些

二：为前途，发奋些

三：为自己和他人，给自己和他人多些机会

三项先为主。。。

Cousin's wedding~~

2008-09-28T18:51:00.000-07:00

Cousin!!...wow... found husband already...

So we headed back to Teluk Intan to attend their wedding ceremony..

here..before the dinner start..

We have a family pic^^

Then, what's more... go round and have some pic... with my aunts...

Then of course!!! with the married couple!!!
my cousin is the bride la....

Again... this time i sit :P haha...

Next morning.... the traditional ceremony in cousin's house...

W0w... get every way!!! haha juz get the bride...mou dak deng><

Finally... ' you may kiss the bride' ...haha blurr though... but can see la

Having one big family pic... haven married muz squat o ...haizzz...with children...lol

Genting Trip 2

2008-09-16T02:34:00.000-07:00

The last decision made, the final and confirm one, before being revoke...

Is done the night before 10 September 2008, the night when my Taxation paper had done(dont know badly or good..aiksss) But still, i wish to go Genting... Still i let one of my friends down.. really bad.. “我不想的，对不起哦！！！beebee”

The night went through quite fast...Just a click of moment, is time to wake up to get ready for Genting!!! Maybe i too excited...hehe ^^ ( this is true...)

After everthing done, i go out round 6.50am to get a bus to putra lrt station...

I waited and waited...

10mins, wait longer.. console myself there is still time.

Then, 30mins gone, ARGHHH... am i going to be late?!

was too scared i will be late, because the bus will depart sharp at 8am..

And i still waiting for bus to arrive at this hour... i look at the my watch... "7.3O liao!"

My heart was pumping so fast..i told myself that

“不会吧?!去不成?”

At this spur moment?I saw my bus comin already. Wah!!! so happy,quickly climb up the bus lo.

Luckily,谢天谢地, i reach in time..Pooh!!! 都是巴士所害的啦！make my heart and blood go up and down before going up to Genting...A warm up before taking roller coaster..keke

What a long story just only taking the bus at the beginning of the journey

After 30 mins travel from terminal to Skyline Port... We need to take another 30 mins to the Genting.. iT just so bored just sitting around in the cable car... SO.... wHAT eLse?!

Take picture lo!!!

i not that scared la.Just create an atmosphere only ...hehe...Heh.. just too bored... whatever photo also take la...

Taking every opportunity to take photo :P

That day really really cold.... luckily i wore long sleeves and get a jacket... We reach there quite early..So, here we g0 again...camwhore section!!!

From here, try to find some similarity...

Found??? 'GREEN' is the catch... Haiya... both wear green =.=

Why there only four of us???(000ps. no yanz in the pic wor :X.. later put ar) Not we make dissapearing act... It just we too excited and loose our gang ...hehe... On the way to trace back their footsteps...

Here there are!!! found em... See how everyone...so enjoy...

Grap some mates and have a ' Chi Cak'... Very Nice^^

When the time struck 10am... wah... we g0 line up to play liao...

As the story were a day long... i think i don't want to talk much...see picture la...

first time sit on lion, brave??? (heehee)

me n siangling ....................so 春天 feel

me n liz at the walk way to dinasour land :)

haiya!!!!... go dinasour land or.. really that dangerous one ar!!!

see?! Kena attack!!! luckily i strong, escape!!!

on the boatie~~~

new gang on the street*hip hop*

After that, everybody g0 makan... then we juz g0 hav some family rides..keke... at indoor..

i also dunno why there is so much different facial expression??? haha

actually we are standing!!! luckily no one sees us :P kinda high though...

Around 4 pm... v head back lo... last pic on the skyline
See?? the cap so cool... nicole one... cool^^ it says:"dont trust ur girlfren" ><><

last but not least...stil sad coz no group pic...^^""

Genting Trip 1

2008-09-10T07:56:00.000-07:00

Getting there was a bless

after going through a series of process for approval

i finally succeed to persuade my mom

for letting me go

it's like

"process of Appeal"

As i did not bring my camera..

pictures of memories cannot be posted so soon

BuT...

c0min s00n...

after i get it from my friends...

I'm glad and treasure the moments

the happy moments which

could be just a mere happiness

although the times passes so fast.

Every seconds counts!!!

In creating minutes...

hours...

and finally a day of gathering :P

Actions and crazy things done

could not easilybe erase

it captured not only on photos..

but it save permanently in the hard disk

of my brain

in the subcorner called memory

The only regret thing

but not too disturbing one

is that there was not a photo

which all of us is in...

but nevermind

there will be other time in future

where we could captured it...

After a day of gathering

i could feel the tiredness in me

"i surely update this more

after i recharged my battery"

The 1st paper---Dissapointment

2008-09-05T06:22:00.000-07:00

Y does the 1st paper could leave such bad memory

English for Management

I did not manage it well

Time was a constraint

My fault

for not revise enough...

Fear now filled the air

Pass???

Fail???

Which belongs to me???

Totally...

i'll ruining my paper!!!

HOw hOW hoW???

jUST h0pe FATE is with me...

i've have been lost for weeks...

few days more...

i'll be back...

*with more stories*

Things gone beyond control

2008-08-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

All i have to do here

is to be silent

Silent does helped
In the silent

i hear myself

only myself

where there is nothing
surrounding me

...its empty

I need someone

to share

but

... ... ...
... ... ...

there is no one

i realize that i'm alone

Wanna pleased everyone??
Do i have the ability to do so??

the answer is NO

" I can't "

I have my limits

i have tried to pleased people around me

i cant even satisfy myself

I'm so stress
-very instead-
till i refuse to imagine
what will come in the future

I hate this
I really do!!!
If i'm not appreciated
that's fine
i'm not a pro...
i'm not perfect

I couldn't believe

2008-08-01T20:20:00.000-07:00

This is what he thinks

deep down in my heart
i couldn't believe..

----speechless----

It stranded every veins and vessels that i have

blood pressure rise

that almost numb my mind

that is when my self consciousness

begin to numb

which make me a total dumb

"I wanna know"
what makes the sense out of his mind
that can make such statemant
such statement which is totally wrong
VERY WRONG!!!

I can't imagine now

as my mind is numb

i just can feel

the transition moving round

internally

words through my ears
it pierce through my heart
then my body
then my brain
then my eyes
Tears begin to fall
*subconsciously*
and my voicebox begin to crack
from being frozen

What is going on???
I wanna know!!!
i just being helpful
trying to hide the secret
of what she have done
that she told me to

Now,
i'm getting it
being blame for not concerning

Am i in the wrong???

It doesn't match the eye

2008-08-01T02:17:00.000-07:00

World is round

no matter how far

i'm going through

i'll reach the end of the journey

But, the
matter is...
how hard

or how easy

is the journey...

HUMAN

have a very interesting behaviour

they love competition

thus create self-STRESS

among ourself

Everyone is unique

having different principles

Once in a blue moon,

unfavourable things happen

it just like

you got the wrong pair of magnet

no matter how hard you force

it never happen to cling

it's hard..

Mindset doesn't meet

the eyes of the other

it clash and crash..

Sincerity creates a fool

Middleman also a fool

where you intend to pleased someone

you are attempting to dig a grave for yourself

where someone might misunderstand you

eventhough there is no intention

to harm anyone

at the time you pleased someone.

Eventually,

you loose out

where it get worsen by instigation
of single sided.

HUMAN

are very funny creatures

blindly attract to one side

without considering the other side.

That is where the mistake and conflicts begin.

There are explaination

on the other side

that have not been spoken nor reveiled.

I wanna get outZ

2008-07-30T02:49:00.001-07:00

uhhhmmmm

I wanna get lost from the picture

since i'm not appreciated

but being treated as an object

which create a veil

Being there

not beneficial at all

At the same time,

i'm also treated as not contributing at all

Things change

people change

feelings change

trying to get outz

i dont know when, how

to sort this out

I'm continued instead..

I wanna stay alone

rid all unfavourable scene

i hate being misunderstood

and yet totally ambiguous

on everything is going on

Anything behind me?

Beyond me?

Above me?

which i totally had no idea

~~Rid me off~~

Diploma Convocation on 13/7/2008

2008-07-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

My first convocation

Diploma Convocation
held on 13 july 2008

~my memorable day~

Thanks to my mom
who help me in my appearance
and all the preparation..
"MOM..I LOVE U!!!

The day went by very fast

morning was the worse

So busy!!!
But it went on smootly

So happy...

that it cant be express by words

but in the following pictures

it tells a millons words

~~my parents~~

~~my chicky brother ~~

~~my pretty sis~~

~~my primary friend~~

me n shu ling

~~me, In Jia n Pei Wen~~

~~me n Jia Jia~~^^

~~me n pei sun~~
although is blur
but i need to treasure this pic._.

it seems quite nice^^

~~me n edmond aka Seng Li~~

look very bright><

~~me n Samuel aka Victor aka Kiat Leong~~

~~me n Kevin aka Boon Ping~~

this also very bright><

our New friends~~JOHORIANSSS

one big family:P

~~me n Mei Wen~~

~me, mei wen, n suddenly pei wen~~

haha~~~

~~Buddies~~

~upclosed 1~

me n pei wen

~upclosed 2~

~~me n B.kuan~~

with my bear in the picture^^

~~3 of us~~

~~ 3 of us also~~

~~b.kuan, YanZ, n me~~

~~pei wen , me n Timothy~~

I was just in time for this shot!!!

"thanks for ur little sunflower Tim^^"

~~Jia Rong, MeeFung, Tim, me n Bkuan~~
with meiwen posing right behind us

heehee

Finally... i finished this post... it really took me quite some time to had this done.
Anyway, i regreted for not taking any a big group photo.. i really do..*_____*
It would be more memorable that way...
But, having all memories in my head..
i'm going to treasure it and i hope everyone do.

Bye bye

2008-07-08T06:51:00.000-07:00

Exhausation

frustrations

plus plus plus

all kind of feelings

poking through and over

but i;m still standing

and try to tackle you

PERFORMANCE MANAGEMENT

i known you for 7 weeks

but i hadn't put you in my mind

always put it aside

Now, i wanna know you further

But, it's time to say bye bye to you

it seems like a good thing though

No need to figure what you are

Whatever still,

keep in touch in cousework...

i'm getting exemption from getting to know you!!!

bYE bYE

cause and effect within me

2008-07-04T06:29:00.001-07:00

Way of handling it

have been gettin up my nerves

this is the cause and effect within me

feeling agitated

cant get the way i wanted

and still

i cant really fight for it

sometimes i cant stand it

but i must learn to bear with it

i didnt care much last time

but i realize and eventually felt it

-so proud-

-try to tell me something-

but i dont want to KNOW!!!

because i dont feel at ease

where i dont have the chance

to reveil the truth

i ask

but know nothing

FELT LEFTOUT

It's over and done!!!

2008-07-02T02:29:00.000-07:00

Yesterday

becomes history

my fear had deem hidden

and lapsed within the period

when i was so frightened

in that car

going out to roads

then

hill

parking

turning

Its over and done

i've made it

hope the history do not repeat itself though

i gave my appreciation

to all the supernaturals

and powers of prayers

it was my luck

i'm so gay!!!

Driving really drive me crazy

2008-06-27T07:24:00.000-07:00

Driving

ehmmm

what can i say!

Norm and tardy to me

Seems hard to get over it

But once i got over it

Everything seems so smooth.

Anyhow..

My time is coming near

I hope i can go through this

ONCE and FOR ALL

Take Time to Realize

2008-06-19T10:16:00.000-07:00

1st

Another busy day

tired, restless and unsatisfied

Arguments seems to raise

during the discussion

not me though

-advise-

Small matter

think free

free your mind

leaving yourself and

giving yourself a chance to be free

-advice-

2nd

I want to realize

Realize everything

that i initially thought

it would be

Good

Appreciated

But sometimes

i feel betrayed

i become small

sense of insecurity

sense of fleeing

sense of jealousy

sense of SENSITIVITY

Dislike this

hate this

but slight recovery

after being optimistic

Proud of it

2008-06-18T03:47:00.000-07:00

Seems easy and relax

everything going fine

everyone collaborating and communicating well

A very good start though

But, there's still something

that i unable to described,

One thing for sure, it's within myself

there is some kind of sensivity within me

which doesn't cling well

but.. i can tell is that

it's close,it's
close

Assignments doesn't even scare me

anymore...

With more support from members

i'm proud of it!!!

Hope it turn out pretty well

Our title is relating to --- now most hot topic in nation

the price hike in petrol prices which lead to many problems

And it is reality

I noticed myself

in the changes of thousands,...zillions

of people in their lifestyle

sacrificing their pride

take on the stressful journey

####

###

Train station are full of people

systematic yet long queue

Buses are over loaded

The 1st thing on everyone's schedule seems to be that terrible

how to survive in future???

Do we need to get back to the past???

Or rather reverse the development of every bits of our achievement

back to where it begin

where everyone walk, cycle

Thus,reversing the effect of green house effect

people will get more healthier

where life would be more peaceful

Will this happen???

Back to the past---HISTORY???

Time just past by...

2008-06-18T03:19:00.000-07:00

00h...

Time just pass by

sometime too fast,sometimes too slow

Tutorial question is getting up to my nerves

My file is bursting out all those papers to me

And i...

Trying to accept

Then abandoned it till the last minute

Arrrhhh

Really hope to have more time

I wanna time to pass much more slower

because i wanna linger longer in this period of life

Although its tough in this course

But, i LOVE it...

driving me through the teen life

having all sort of unexplainable feelings

All rounded and grounded

I fell in love

in love with english songs nowadays

although i have been listening to all kind of songs since young

especially chinese songs

Recently, full moon occur

I love FLY fm---95.7fm

English songs

It described my feelings and moods

Wandering

2008-06-10T09:08:00.000-07:00

After a long day of rushing

i finally had a short period of time

to be alone

in a quite classroom

Glad that i found an empty classroom

which allow me to have my own sweet time

although companions are not available

i had my ways in filling up those moments

******

****

***

Tutorials spreading over two desks

my fingers was gripping the mechanical pencil

Eyes looking at the question

Trying my best to complete it

Then,a pair of tiny earphones pluckin to my ears

songs begin to get into my ear drums

and the lyrics begin to flow to mind

makes me wander further and further

into the moment where i was in diploma

listening to tutors teachings

lots of things

My eyes begin to look farther from my vision

Students walking through and fort

I wandered

and feel the peacefulness

even sing my heart out

as there was so quite

my voice was clearly be heard

and its like my wanderland

At the same time,

i also figure how the minutes should written

so, i utilized my sweet time

doing the things i love

Truthfully,

i enjoyed

relaxzzz

no bothering

and undisturbed

A day that is worth waiting

2008-06-09T06:50:00.000-07:00

a day that is worth waiting to me

a day which means a lot to me

it makes me happy and also my family

it equivalent to my confirmation

and i need commitment

to settle in this line

A NARROW LINE

i'm satisfied what had happened in a day like this

although its does reach the maximum

but, its fated

or, rather

what god awarded me

from the blessings of all

parents, friends

Talking bout friends

it just sound so tardy

Do friends need to be together all the time

to foster closer relationship??

When friends have other friends

they have their heart on them

laid their eyes, whole -heartedly to them

and almost brutally remove those past feelings from the previous one

10 years of frienship doesn't even worth a lift to even mention

or rather share

I was totally utterly speechless

is this what is it like???